


War & Peace

by rosesisupposes



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Brief Pyromania, Gen, Genderfluid Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Holiday Fic Exchange, Hot Chocolate, Nonbinary Morality | Patton Sanders, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Remus is not much better, Roman's a dramatic little shit, Secret Gift Exchange Fic, Snowball Fight, Virgil has two hands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:40:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28387143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesisupposes/pseuds/rosesisupposes
Summary: One of the perks of the mindscape? Even Florida can have a winter wonderland
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	War & Peace

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Sanders Sides Secret Gift Exchange 2020, for Adriana aka corrupted-sun on tumblr

It’s a rare quiet moment. Two walls stare each other down, each hiding the combatants from each other’s gaze. Behind them, the small teams rally themselves to launch once more into battle.

Virgil huddles in the trench, holding an arm around Patton protectively to keep them low and out of sight. 

“Pat, I know fighting’s not your thing, but remember: this is war.”

“Isn’t there another way?” Patton asks, eyes huge behind their glasses.

“They’ve left us no choice,” Janus says, checking their supply of ammo. He adjusts his yellow gloves, both eyes glinting. “It’s only a matter of time before an attack comes. It’s either us, or them.”

Patton sighs and takes some ammo. “Just tell me when.”

On the opposite side of the battlefield, Roman kneels, staring off into the middle distance with intensity. 

_ “This day is call'd the feast of Crispian. _

_ He that outlives this day, and comes safe home, _

_ Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd, _

_ And rouse him at the name of Crispian!” _

Logan looks up from their pile of supplies, hidden well into their trench. “Is this really the time, Roman?”

“If not now, my dear nerd, when?” Roman replies, then launches in anew.

_ “We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; _

_ For he to-day that sheds his blood with me _

_ Shall be my brother-” _

“I am your only brother here, Woe-man.”

Roman scowls at his twin. “It’s a  _ metaphor,  _ you potato with eyes-”

“I would prefer to not be even a metaphorical sibling to Remus, thanks all the same,” Logan says calmly, doling out piles of ammo. “It would make our dates rather awkward.”

Roman pouts. “Fine, ruin all my attempts at an inspiring speech. Can you at least attack?”

Remus grins, grabbing as much ammo as they can hold. He stands, torso fully clearing the edge of the trench, and starts throwing fast & hard in a steady barrage at the opposing camp. As they throw, he shouts out loud and clear, “LEEEEROYYYY JENKINSSS!”

Across the battlefield, Virgil looks to his left and gasps. “Patton, you’re hit!”

Patton smiles bravely. “It’s just a scratch, Virge.” But both their teammates see a wet patch spreading, stark against their light blue coat. 

Janus pulls Patton carefully to just against the trench wall, the safest spot available. He locks eyes with Virgil, who nods with a flinty gaze. As one, they each lob a projectile hurtling over the wall, and another, and another, relying on their intuition to aim, but in perfect sync with each other. 

From the field, they hear a surprised shout. 

Virgil smirks. “Got’em!”

In the distance, in a voice full of reproach, they hear a familiar call, “Bitch, you ruined my  _ hair! _ ”

“If you can’t handle the slush, get out of the snowfort!” Janus snarks, and throws another snowball over the wall.

Roman brushes ice pieces and damp hair out of his crimson face, pouting even as he grabs more snowballs. “Okay, that’s it. Let’s get them!”

Logan, looking up from his perfectly-arranged pyramid of snowballs, remarks  _ “Once more into the breach, once more?” _

“Finally, you get it! Thank you!”

Remus grins at his teammates. “Let’s go!”

They charge over the wall, the twins leading with snowballs in their fists, Logan just behind carrying a stack of pre-made ones as backup. Roman and Remus are yelling incoherently as their arms move like windmills, throwing snowballs as fast as Logan can hand them over.

Virgil and Janus stay behind their snowfort wall, sniping from around the sides, taking time to aim. Virgil aims for the twins’ faces, while Janus targets Logan, trying to disrupt the supply.

Their teamwork functions well, right up until Remus crashes straight into the fort’s wall, falling through the snow fortifications in a crunch of powder and ice. Patton squeals in surprise and pushes a pile of snow onto their face, surprising laughs out of them both. 

Remus pops up with snow stuck to his hair, mustache, and chin. “Look, Lolo! I’m Satan Claus!”

Logan smiles and dumps his remaining snowballs on top of his head. “You’ve forgotten your hat, Mx. Claus”

Roman continues the fight, and tries to retaliate with a snowball to Virgil’s face. As he tries, though, a weight grabs him at the waist. He falls back, facing the icy blue sky, lying in the snow, with Virgil on top of him, pink-cheeked from the cold and exertion.

His captor smirks. “Surrender, Princey?”

Roman can’t stop himself from grinning widely up at the taller side, even as he bravely responds, “Never!”

From just outside his vision, he hears a drawling voice say, “That’s really too bad, I was going to make my specialty hot chocolate once the battle was done, guess I’ll need to delay it now…”

Roman stills. “The double chocolate recipe?” he asks cautiously.

“That’s the one,” Janus says with a regretful sigh. “I even got the mini marshmallows shaped like snowflakes.”

Roman bites his lip. “Perhaps we could negotiate a ceasefire.”

Virgil chuckles. “Knew that would work, Princey. C’mon.” He stands, brushing off his purple snowsuit, and helps Roman to his feet too.

Roman sniffs. “I want it noted for the record that you two aren’t winning from your prowess in snow battle, but through bribery.”

Janus grabs the shorter man around the shoulder, messing up Roman’s hair even as he brushes the snow out of it. “Better to be lucky than good, my frozen prince. Let’s go round up the others.”

The other three are sitting in the wreck of the team’s fort. Remus has already decorated the snowy ruins with a dramatic scene of mini snowmen in the middle of a pitched battle, with snow-demons all around the melee. Their hair is sticking in every direction and his tongue is sticking just out of their mouth as he crafts detailed snow-tentacles as the centerpiece. Patton sits beside them, happily building snow puppies around the edges of the snowy battle scene. 

Virgil carefully stops short of the display. “Y’all wanna stay out here, or come in for Janus’ hot chocolate?”

Patton and Remus both look up at the same time, eyes alike as they speak simultaneously. “Chocolate? Chocolate?! CHOCOLATE?!”

Logan stands, brushing off his sensible navy coat and adjusting his glasses. “Emile would be so proud of you two.”

Remus carefully extracts himself from their snowscape, waiting until he’s right next to Roman to shake off the snow like a dog. Ice and water spatter out onto their twin as Roman sputters. “Race you to the kitchen!”

The twins are sprinting headlong towards the doors of the Imagination, both trying to shove each other out of the way and laughing the whole time. The rest of the group walks at a more reasonable pace, still pink-cheeked from the cold. 

“Virgeeyyyy-” Patton wheedles, their eyes huge and pleading behind their glasses.

Virgil looks over with a grin. “I’m surprised you made it this long before asking, Patty-cake.” He stops and kneels, as Patton claps happily and crawls onto his back. Virgil stands, carrying Pat on his back, pressing a soft kiss to the skin of their wrist where it peeks between mitten and jacket.

“I wish someone would carry me,” Janus says wistfully. “I also don’t want to walk.”

Logan snorts. “Keep on wishing, Jan. I’m not getting into another game of chicken just because Virgil sticks his tongue out at you again.”

“ _ Humph. _ Guess someone wants to be served his hot chocolate  _ last _ .” 

Logan rolls his eyes. “Oh no, what horr-”

“ _ After _ the twins have gotten into the marshmallows.”

Logan’s head whips around to look at Janus, then back to the twins’ rapidly-retreating backs. “You wouldn’t  _ dare!” _

“L, we all know he absolutely would,” Virgil throws back over his shoulder, making Patton giggle as they sway.

Suddenly, a blur passes them as Logan tears after the twins.

“What a dork,” Virgil says fondly. “He never gets less logical than when his sweet tooth is on the line.”

By the time they’ve all trooped back through the Imagination doors into the mindscape, they can hear the bickering from downstairs. Patton slides off Virgil’s back and snaps away their snow gear. “Let’s go see what the kiddos have gotten up to, shall we?”

Janus rolls his eyes as they discover the scene in the kitchen. Roman and Logan appear to be playing keep-away with the bag of marshmallows, both so intent on the sugary treats that neither has appeared to notice that Remus is currently unattended in the living room, starting a fire.Luckily, he actually conjured a fireplace first, this time. 

Virgil’s eyes light up as he goes to help them, or at least to go place with matches.

Janus and Patton exchange looks and immediately split up. 

Patton calmly hops up on the island in the kitchen as Logan and Roman scramble for the marshmallows.

“Jan promised me hot chocolate!”

“You don’t need the sugar, your diet is terrible enough as it is.”

“Then why should you get it, all you eat is Crofter’s anyway-”

“The brain needs sugar to function!”

“So does creativity!”

Patton just sits and beams at the other two with all the intensity of their megawatt smile. Slowly, both notice them sitting calmly and go sheepishly quiet.

“Ahem. We just wanted to-” Logan begins

“That is, we were making sure that-” Roman stammers.

Patton tilts their head slightly, still smiling, making a small sound of inquiry.

“Sorry, Patton,” Roman says, hanging his head.

“Apologies, Patton,” Logan says, placing the bag of marshmallows gently on the island and stepping away.

“There’s my good boys!” Patton says cheerily. “Now, can y’all get out everyone’s mugs?”

“Heheheheh snap! Crackle! Pop! Rice crispies!” Remus cackles to himself, throwing another branch of dry pine needles into the flame.

Virgil stares into the light, eyes and smile equally huge as he prods it with the poker. “We should add wax!”

“Or newspaper! I like how it delays when it lights!”

“Newspaper covered in wax?”

“Oh  _ fuck _ yeah!”

They sniggering and toss more flammable objects into the stove.

Janus leans against the wall and sighs, so softly that it would be inaudible, if both Remus and Virgil hadn’t frozen the moment Janus entered the room.

“Remus,” he says calmly, inspecting his gloves.

“Hey there Janabanana!” Remus responds happily. “It’s contained this time, look!”

“Yes, Remus, it is. Was that what I’d said you should do?”

Virgil pushes kindling behind him, trying to move slow enough as if to avoid attention. 

“Virgil,” Janus continues, icily calm. “You were there last time, correct? What advice did I give Remus?”

“Um, you know, I think you should ask Logan, my memory is crap-”

“You forgot, Virgey? But I thought you had fun last time!!” Remus asked, their eyes huge and his lip wobbling in a pout.

“Now Virgil, look, you’ve made Remus sad,” Janus says, sympathy dripping as heavily as sarcasm. “You know, it’s funny, I seem to remember my advice was actually for  _ both _ of you last time. What was is it again? Something along the lines of  _ do not start fires in the Thomas’ home?” _

“We’re in the Mindscape, not Thomas’ actual home…” Virgil begins, but trails off at Janus’ raised brow. “Can we keep it going in the stove if we stop adding shit to it?”

Janus hums tunelessly. He gazes through lidded eyes at the two pleading faces watching hopefully, two pairs of mismatched eyes trying their best to look precious rather than chaotic.

But sometimes, a little chaos can be precious. 

“Fine, you can keep it, but you two can’t be with it unattended. And I need to make the hot chocolate, so at least one of you is coming to the kitchen.”

Immediately, they both touch their noses, Virgil beating Remus by just a hair of a second. 

“Aw, shitfucker,” Remus says with easy humor. “Okay, Jancake!”

As they rejoin the group in the kitchen, Janus gives Roman and Patton a look. “One you needs to go chaperone your boyfriend. He has matches.”

Roman smiles. “As if he could get any hotter!” He twirls out the room, humming something that sounds suspiciously like “Disco Inferno.”

Remus spots their own boyfriend and immediately shifts his shape, shrinking in size just enough that they can literally clamber up Logan’s body. He wraps their arms around his torso, resting their chin on Logan’s shoulder.

“Ah, am I a climbing tree once more?”   
“Yes you are, Euca-Lo-ptus!”

Janus moves around them all to the stove, listening with a smile

“I was thinking he was more of a Lo-tus, myself,” Patton says with a giggle.

“That may-ple be true, Pat!”

Logan closes his eyes and takes an exaggeratedly deep breath, but the twitch of his lips gives away his amusement. “Must you two always do this?”

“Why, Lolo,  _ wood _ you rather we  _ leaf _ you alone?” Remus says with a shit-eating grin. He presses a kiss to Logan’s cheek with a loud smack of lips.

“You know what they say,” Patton says seriously with a nod. “Where there’s a willow, there’s a way.”

“Hey, hey Lo,” Remus says, wiggling with excitement. “If you come up with your own, I promise there won’t be any syca-more of these.”

Logan looks over at Janus, and they share a fond smile at the dorks they live with. “Hmm,” he thinks aloud. “Here’s one. It doesn’t surprise me that you both enjoy tree puns, given that you’re both quite chest- _ nuts _ .”

“Oooh, hello Mr. Sassy-fras!” Patton says with a sly wink. 

Logan narrows his eyes. “I thought you said you’d stop.”

“Technically, that was just me,” Remus says.

“It’s cause under all that  _ bark, _ Remus is really just a big old  _ sap,”  _ Patton says, grinning in glee as Logan groans. “I’m done now. It’ll all be  _ oak _ -ay!”

“Patton!”

“Sorry, sorry, I’m done! Promise!”

“Patton, I’m sorry to say you’re banned from the kitchen for that,” Janus says, mixing ingredients over the stove. “Can you bring out the blankets in the living room?”

Logan finishes taking down the mugs and arranges them on the island, Remus clinging to him like an oddly-affectionate backpack. Janus uses his extra arms to heat two saucepans of chocolate at once, and one extra hand to keep the marshmallows at a safe distance away from the other two.

Once he’s poured out equal amounts into everyone’s favorite mugs and distributed an even amount of marshmallows, Logan and Remus help Janus carry the mugs to the living room, where the other three wait in a nest of blankets and pillows near the fireplace. Roman is lying with his head in Virgil’s lap as Patton leans on Virgil’s other shoulder. They all untangle to accept their mugs, shifting to give everyone equal access to the warmth of the cheery glow.

Janus gives Logan a look, and he responds with a lopsided grin. He sits and accepts two mugs of chocolate, saying, “C’mere, Reme, I got us extra marshmallows.”

Remus is immediately distracted from their beeline towards the fire and makes a u-turn into his boyfriend’s side. “Oooooh, are they the gooey ones?”

“Of course, do I look like a man who forgets my own partner’s favorites?”

“Nah, you look like as big a snacc as the marshmallows,” Remus says, flopping into Logan’s lap. Only ease of long practice and anticipation of their behavior allows Logan to avoid spilling all over them both.

Janus chuckles, wrapping himself in a particularly fuzzy blanket that Patton saved for him. “Before you ask, Roman, yes, I brought you extra marshmallows as well.”

“What need have I for extra sweetness when I am allowed to bask in Virgil’s presence?”

“So I should give them to Remus too?”

“Nooo, gimme!”

Virgil snorts. “Oh princey, you’re so predictable.” Before he starts to pout, Virgil bends down to kiss his forehead. “And adorable too, of course.” Visibly mollified, Roman accepts his hot chocolate without taking his eyes off Virgil’s smirk.

Patton reaches across to get their own mug from Janus, using the movement to snuggle more into Virgil’s broad shoulder.

Janus sighs, relaxing into the heat of the blanket nest and the fire. “Did y’all have a good snow day?”

“Practically perfect in every way,” Roman says dreamily.

“Yeah, it was good.”

“It certainly was pretty  _ cool!” _

“ _ Patton- _ yes, Jan, it was quite enjoyable.”

“I liked the part where the snow looked like jizz!”

Roman scoffs. “Reme, do you gotta-”

“It’s okay, Ro. That means they liked it,” Janus says fondly. “I had a good day, too.”

“Love you all,” Patton says sleepily, already getting drowsy despite the sugar.

Virgil kisses the top of their head. “We love you too.”


End file.
